It’s too early to be up, yet here I sit, up before the birds. I have not decided if I feel sick or just out of sorts. I am not sure if the feeling I have in the pit of my tummy is nausea or anxiety or an acidy stomach. All I know is that I am awake when I don’t want to be. This is the first day in the last six days that I have been able to sleep in. I have been helping my friend’s mom clean, pack, clean, move, clean, unpack, clean for the past week, every day, pretty much all day. Tomorrow (well, later today, rather) I have a photo shoot with The Cotton Lillies! It is raining right now, It’s an outdoor shoot. Maybe their cheerful, well coordinated colorful outfits will pop better against a gloomy sky… We’ll see. Thursday is my only day “off” because I have to clean my friend’s mom’s place again. I am now her maid. That’s right folks. Times have officially become SO tough for me that I have resorted to cleaning house for about $8 an hour to help the household. It’s only lie $40 a week, but that pays for my smoking and some groceries.
Ted got a call from his old boss, the guy who layed him off at the end of Novemeber and there is a good chance that he will be going back in two or three weeks. I am so ready to have my space back, Aimée time has been severly neglected as of the past 6 months and though I will miss Ted SOOO much and probably go through some serious anxiety with him being gone after being connected at the hip for half a year, I need my space. My letters have seriously suffered because I can’t write with him around. I love to cuddles him and talk. I think we are the only couple in history to be able to be with one another 24/7 and not get sick of one another.
The squirrels that I have loved and fed for over two years have become the bane of my existance. They are eating and/or destroying everything in my garden. It has now come down to my resorting to red pepper seeds in the sol and red pepper spray on the roof and leavs. I hope they don’t go blind. I know I damn near did making the shit. I hope it works. I will be totally pissed if the stuff hurts my plants. I refuse to resort to pesticides. I will just stop growing a garden if it comes that far.
Tired…. I’m just SO tired.
