My new neighbors have three daughters. I love them all, they are amazing girls. The other day the oldest, a 15 year old who we will call B, was wearing a TWLOHA shirt. It was at that moment that I realized that we might have at least one more thing in common. Today, while on my porch, I saw the scars on her arms. I couldn’t help but reach out and touch them. I remember, since it has not been very long since I last cut myself, how it feels to push a blade into my flesh. It hurt me to remember. She’s only 15. I didn’t begin cutting myself until I was 16. It has been 14 years of self mutilation. I have been cutting myself for almost as long as she has been alive. I am now really beginning to learn more about TWLOHA (To Write Love On Her Arms) http://www.twloha.com/ It is an amazing organization that’s entire goal is to support those who are battling depression, drug abuse, self mutilation and suicide through awareness and music. I have a lot of thinking to do right now. I want to talk to B; to let her know that I know, at least somewhat, how she is feeling. But I am afraid that I am not well enough to have that conversation with her. What if I fuck up and make her sad or upset enough to want to cut herself again. I am very confused at the moment.
