Things That Went Wrong For My Wedding

– Constant fighting w/ my MIL (This is FAR before we liked eachother) Because of a fight w/ her, Ted ended up having to knock his dad out from coming after me with a closed fist because he didn’t like me talking back to his wife.

– MIL and GMIL made sure to tell the priest that I was Pagan so that the wedding wouldn’t be a Sacrament for Ted.

– Because my in-laws were paying for a part of the wedding, my MIL refused to let me choose a LOT of my own wedding.

Bridesmaids dresses were hideous. Maroon and shapeless
Maroon dresses, red roses
Sterling Lavender Roses in bouquet, Red roses for bridesmaids

– A week before invites were to go out, the apartment flooded and they were ruined.

– Because of all of the fighting with my MIL and her constant threats to “pull funding”, Ted and I cancelled the cake, the reception hall / catering and the videographer (everything she was paying for) and uninvited 150 guests two weeks before the wedding.

– Wedding coordinator sold MY dress and replaced it with a dress that someone hand made that was 18 inches too short before I put on shoes. She did this between my last fitting and the wedding. I found out 4 days before the wedding and couldn’t afford to buy a new one. She tried to convince me that this WAS my dress.

– Two words. Ruffles and Bows.

– Wedding coordinator lost my shoes, crinoline and nylons on the morning of my wedding. I had to wear white slippers, white tights and a hoopskirt that made my dress a good 2.5 feet too short. Fat girls should NEVER wear hoopskirts!

– In trying to convince me that my antique gold necklace that my grandmother gave me that she and my great-grandmother wore on their wedding day didn’t go with my dress, she lost it. I am devestated to this day that I don’t have it.

– Three words. WORST . HAIRDO. EVER. Done by the coordinator who was also my MIL’s hairstylist. It took 2 hours and three bottles of conditioner to get all of the ratting out of my hair.

– Coordinator made me dress at her house and ride in the front seat of a tiny car in a hoopskirt that was over my head from New Baltimore to Royal Oak.

– Went to pick up one of my best friends for the wedding and he was still asleep and didn’t hear us pounding on the door so he missed the wedding.

– Because of the last 2, I was 20 minutes late for my own wedding ceremony and Ted thought I stood him up at the altar.

– My granny and gramps were too sick to travel that far for the wedding. We decided to have our honeymoon there so we could show them the video and make them a part of the wedding anyway.

– MIL wore black to the wedding and wouldn’t stand for the Blessing.

– Back of the church roof caved in during the ceremony. Too many Pagans in a Catholic Church I guess.

– My aunt, who was taking over for the videographer we cancelled, only taped five minutes of the ceremony. She stopped right before my daddy gave me away. At the end she filmed her daughter and grand-daughter for 6 minutes.

– The church didn’t tape the wedding like it was supposed to. I got screwed on seeing my wedding or taking it to my grandparents for them to see.

– My “wedding dress” fell apart at the reception. The sewing was so shoddy that the train, once bustled, was too heavy for the stiching at the waist and the seams broke.Thank God I had other clothes with me.

– My dress got mud on it from the rain and snow.

– Ted got sick at the recetion and we had to leave early from our own reception.

– No sex on my wedding night.

– People kept showing up at our house that night.


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Vomitus of the Brainus © Aimée Easton 2006 - 2011 All Rights Reserved Material contained on this site are under copyright, whether my own or someone else's. The material here is published strictly for personal use, and may not be copied to any other place without prior permission. I have borrowed or linked resources from elsewhere and I have given credit to the source from where I got material. Any form of copying or distribution, may face legal penalty.

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