Archive for the 'DHS' Category

07
Sep
11

Complete Motherhood

Dear Andrea,

I never thought I would say that I hoped that you became a mother at 19 years old, but here I sit, hoping and praying that not only will you become a mother, but a mother of two. You are an inspiration to me. You are a hero.

You are giving Matthew and Alice a chance at the life that was stolen from you. A life that you never had the chance to have. You are continuing to give up the life that you so deserved to have for another life that you were made for; Complete motherhood.

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31
Aug
11

A

How dare you come to my door and act like you haven’t had your part in what is going on. Yes, the focus is mainly on him right now, but we are all well aware of the failures you’ve been having as well. Don’t stand in my living room acting all innocent. We all know the truth. We all know what you’ve been up to as well. Our lives are all in chaos and you could care less. You want what you want and that is all that matters to you. You make me sick. You truly make me feel ill when I think about you and what you’re putting your kids through, what you’re putting us all through. I can’t wait until this is all over. I can’t wait until I never have to see you or hear from you again.

28
Aug
11

I love her, but I don’t like her…

Used to be what I said about A. That sentiment has recently changed. I no longer love her. I loathe and despise her. I abhor her. I honestly couldn’t care less if she drank herself to death. When a 9 year old calls you out on calling drunk, there is a serious problem.

26
Aug
11

Some things I need to say

Two bad parents in one – I just don’t get it. Really. You have been given chance after chance, threat after threat has been made. You know that this was your last chance, yet you blew it again. BOTH of you. Because of you, your children are once again in fear for their lives. They (and we) have no clue where they will end up since you have decided that drinking far exceeds them in on your priority list. We can only hope that the judge, this time, will allow your eldest daughter to be their foster parent. We can only hope that they won’t be put in a foster home full of crazy zealots who try to brainwash them so they can pave their own way to heaven. We can only hope that you won’t lose your parental rights and they get adopted out of the family. That will destroy not only the kids, but the entire family. You have once again proven that you are useless members of society.

The eldest daughter – You. You are the glue that has continuously held this family together. I know that’s been hard on you. I can’t imagine the pressure you are under. But I am proud of you. You are an amazing mother. You have been to those kids what you never got from your own mom. You’re loving, kind, compassionate, tough but gentle and more importantly, open. You let them come to you with any question, any problem and you never treat them like they’re bad or wrong. You’re the perfect balance between friend and disciplinarian. I know, if Judge K gives you the chance, you will make those kids the happiest they have ever been. Even when they scream that they hate you, even when they treat you like crap, They will be happy. Happy that they’re allowed to be real kids and live real lives with their real family. It’s going to be a long, hard road, but it’ll be a road paved with gold. You’re amazing. I love you.

 

16
Sep
10

Letters That I’ll Never Send: 09/16/10 – Write a Letter to a Child

From Here

Dear M&A,

Today marks a very sad occasion: your departure from our family. For the past 7 years, we have fought a battle that we never should have had to fight. Today, that battle comes to an end. For 7 years we, T, B, A and I have done everything in our power to help your mom and dad beat their alcoholism and for the first 5 years, we failed and failed and failed. We only got the state involved because we feared that one or both of you might end up dead if things kept going like they were. We had run out of ideas on how to help them. Nothing was working. Never in all my wildest imaginings, did I ever think that you would end up losing your family for good. That we would be losing you. Never did I ever think that we would have to say goodbye. That we wouldn’t have the option to see you any time we wanted or that we would have to schedule a visitation with strangers to see you. I didn’t think that we’d have to wait and wonder whether the state was going to keep you together or split you up. That there would be so many questions left unanswered and even more problems left unsolved.

I failed you. I did everything I could, but I failed. I had the very best of intentions in my heart and I know that in the end this is what’s best for you, but I can’t help but feel like there is something more that I could have done. More resources that I could have found to help your parents. More people I could have asked for help. I wanted to make your family whole again, but instead, AAP left, and the state separated the two of you from your big sister and practically the only mother you ever knew. Now, We will all be completely separated and there is no returning the family to the whole that we all hoped it could be again.

I’m sorry for consistently falling for all of the lies that your parents told me. I’m sorry that it took me so long to see their words for what they really were. I’m sorry that we couldn’t afford a bigger place so that you could come to live with me. I’m so sorry that my actions have brought us to this place. I don’t know that I would do it any differently if I had it to do over again, though. And I’m sorry for that as well.

I want you to remember a few things. You are loved. You are loved more than I can ever tell you. We all love you so much that this whole situation is killing us. We all loved you as if we bore you from our own loins. Please remember that it is okay to trust people, so long as you keep your eyes and mind sharp and clear. Know that there is good in this world and you are a big part of it. Remember to be nice and to appreciate what you do have. Try not to dwell on what you’ve lost. Make the most out of what you have. Take care of one another. I know you fight a lot, but remember that what you are feeling, the other is most likely feeling too. What you are going through, they are too. You two are the only ones who knows what it’s like to go through this. I promise that you will be each other’s greatest support.

We love you. We love you. We love you. From the moment you were each born until forever. We love you.

EE

16
Sep
10

…but for now…

It’s so cute. Since the kids were taken from their mom and given to their dad, things had been going great. Scott had not been drinking. AT. ALL. He had been teaching the kids good habits, not letting them play violent video games, getting them into a really great routine and playing with them. Really getting them to use their imaginations. Matthew calls Bee EVERY day after school and things looked as if they were going really well. It looked as though their dad was doing everything right. Way better than their mom had ever done. Because when she got sober for a minute, instead of being responsible, she’d give them everything they wanted, spoiling them to gain their love and trust. That’s not the right thing to do.

Then comes 9/14. Matthew calls Bee after school like he routinely does and tells her that Dad’s been drinking. Bee tells Matthew that she wants to talk to dad to see if she can take them to the park (since it was an amazingly beautiful day) and when Matthew went outside to give his dad the phone, Matthew actually sees the bottle of booze. This was it for her. Phone calls were made and tests were required and to make a very, very long story short, Their dad is about to lose the kids.

That night, after DHS contacted Bee to tell her to keep the kids, we had to go to their mom’s house to get them some clothes for school. And sadly, to no surprise, She was wasted.

There is a very good possibility that the state will put the kids into an actual foster home since the people who are trusted by CPS to take the kids don’t have the space for them. Or the money to get a bigger space.

There is also the possibility, a BIG possibility, that the state will be terminating the parental rights of their parents and they will be taken off of the kids’ birth certificates.

Last night we all went to the park. Bee, Aimee, Ted, Matthew, Alice, and I went to George George. I took a shit ton of pictures with Aimee’s camera (since mine is STILL effed up) and no one would talk about it, but we all knew that this might be the last time, for a LONG time that we all get to go out, where ever we want, and play with them. No one would say it, but we were trying to make the best out of a really fucked up situation. No one was saying it, because we’re all hoping it’s not true, but this might be goodbye for a while.

We’re all worried about visitation. I mean, their new foster family won’t know any of us. For all they know, we can’t be trusted or we would have the kids. We don’t know if they will even want us knowing where they live. They could require us the state minimum of 1 hour a week visitation at the DHS office. That is so depressing. I hope that Lisa tells them the whole story and lets them know that we are good, safe, encouraging and uplifting people.  I hope that they will allow us at least into their home so they can see us with the kids and eventually I hope they will let us take the kids out and maybe have them over night. I mean, doesn’t every foster family want their foster kids to have a number of supportive and loving people to support the kids?

They scheduled the TDM for 1:30. I think that’s because they want to make sure that mom and dad are busy when the kids get out of school so that someone from CPS can go and get them so that mom and dad can’t. There is a very good chance that we won’t get to say goodbye to them.  There is a good chance that we won’t get to tell them to be good and try not to act out. That they shouldn’t take their anger out on their new foster family and to give them all the advice we possibly can.

The kids are angry. They know that they’re most likely going to a foster home, but we couldn’t go on any further. We needed to make this time with them the happiest we possibly could. We are all so depressed right now. The kids described how they felt in the coolest way. Matthew said, “It’s like we’re in a mosh pit at a Slipknot concert and we’re being bashed from all sides and we can’t get out.” He hit the nail on the head. What’s even funnier is that he’s never been to a concert or in a mosh pit! He’s a hilarious kid.

Lisa told Bee that she can’t get the kids because she’s still a foster kid until she’s 19. In August of next year, Bee will be getting a 3 bedroom place and Lisa told her that she can petition the state for custody. If the parental units have lost their rights, she may even be able to adopt them. Lisa said that she would back Bee 100%. One year. Though this year flew by, I have a feeling that this one will drag by for her. It’s one thing to miss the kids because they’re 3 hours away with your grandparents who you know and love, but it’s a whole different thing when they’re with a family that we don’t know and have no clue if they’re in the system just for the money. We have no idea if they will be kept together or if they’ll be separated. We haven’t even brought that possibility up to Bee. She’s going through too much as it is. I don’t know if she’s even thought of that possibility.

The TDM is at 1:30 today. In 7.5 hours, we’ll hear the fate of the kids. In 7.5 hours, we’ll know if their parents have fucked up so bad that they will no longer have parents. If they’ve not only complicated the kids’ lives, but the lives of everyone who loves them. Because of them, we will get to wonder, worry, wish and wander through days without the kids. We don’t know if we will be allowed to call us or if we can send them letters; we don’t know if any of our lives will ever be the same.

The TDM will be at 1:30 today and that 7.5 hours is going to crawl by. I feel like we are waiting for our own execution. That we are waiting for the state to sever a vital part of our family and leave us hanging.

I guess we’ll see.




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Vomitus of the Brainus © Aimée Easton 2006 - 2011 All Rights Reserved Material contained on this site are under copyright, whether my own or someone else's. The material here is published strictly for personal use, and may not be copied to any other place without prior permission. I have borrowed or linked resources from elsewhere and I have given credit to the source from where I got material. Any form of copying or distribution, may face legal penalty.